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04/22/2008
Voters, Angels and Dodos
Election day in Pennsylvania,
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Voting is a good idea unless you're so disconnected from the system that you can't manage one little "give a shit." You should stop smoking and you should vote. You should eat better and exercise. You should be a good citizen and ask not what your country can do for you, but what you ...
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OK, I'm going to ask, what can I do for my country? Fight in a war? No, that's doing something for the government crazies that see terrorists or communists, or a boogeyman threat under every bed. I guess I could plant trees or clean up the highway but I'd probably be shot by some irate land owner or run over by a car. I could volunteer to help in any of a thousand different worthwhile organizations. Is the country the land or the people?
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When I go in that little booth, oops it's not a booth anymore, it's like the telephone booth, gone the way of the *Dodo bird, I'll see bells, buzzers and names. I only know 3 people that I'm sure to vote for. What do I do about the others? Push and Pray? Vote those 3 and screw the rest? Ask for help? Wish I was a more informed citizen? This voting roulette probably isn't what the founders had in mind but I don't see Adams, Jefferson or Madison on the ballot.
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The much maligned but noble Dodo
I feel like a crappy American, like a reject. Bright shiny politician wannabe's greeted me at the door. Why can't I be like that? All friendly and connected and shit? The women of the election board are the same women that sat there when I moved into this district 32 years ago. Soon this will all be gone, for us anyway.
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In heaven, will we have to vote?. St. Peter is as good as St. Paul. I wonder what my job will be in heaven? Manufacturing probably isn't big, service industry probably. I could wait on some muckity muck angel, be his butler or Man Friday.
God called yesterday your Angelness, he wants you to inspire a bunch of disenfranchised voters on Earth.>I hate doing that.>It's not that bad, is it, your, Celestial Hierarchy Sir?>Why don't they send the Seraphim or the Cherubim? Why is it always me?>I can't answer that, Sir... I know ... send me!>You? You? Don't make me laugh.>I can do it. I'll tell them that if they don't vote that the Angels in heaven will cry.>Jesus!>Should I get him?>NO! Go ahead and do it but don't say anything to God, let him think that I went. And make sure to you don't say anything to those blabber mouth Archangels.>Got it! I'm off! (To myself) This is a pretty good gig after all. At the next Angel conference I'm going to ask _____ to nominate me for **Malakhim!
*Portuguese: doudo, literally, "stupid." Who the fuck are we to call a bird stupid?
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**The lowest order of the angels, and the most familiar to men. They are the ones most concerned with the affairs of living things, messengers.
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