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05/23/2008
I feel my pain
Send me to la, la land for a few days,
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I'm trying to come back, not from the abyss but from an abyss. I've been pretty sick over the past week. I cried with varying degrees of success to my doctors. I ask one doctor, what ever happened to prescribing pain killers, narcotics?
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Could it be that the drug companies value drugs that, in the short term, do nothing, but, instead, work through some kind of mechanism and need to be taken over long periods of time rather than drugs that address the problem directly making the doctors merely go between's in order to make everything look official and on the up and up while the profit motive is the real mechanism?
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In some cases, yes.
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The bone of contention here is the awful, gnawing headaches that I've had, more likely as a result of the ancillary effects of other drugs I'm taking. I say ancillary, rather than "side effect" because the unwanted effects are also a direct result of the drugs I'm taking . It merely serves the medical profession's image to call these undesirable effects something else.
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I was prescribed another drug, and given the number for the "Pain Clinic." It seems that the medical establishment has taken the lemons of narcotic addiction and made lemonade; a separate entity where pain can be dealt with, full well knowing the consequences should a patient be so foolish to expect an opiate based drug.
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During the winter one year I once saw a doctor that had shattered his hand by falling on the ice. The nurse later told me that this doctor refused any pain medication. I assumed that he had to prove to himself that pain can be managed through an act of will because that's how he expects his patients to deal with it.
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It reminds me of how alcoholics used to be treated; as weak willed individuals that didn't take responsibility for their actions. Some people still believe that but some things supersede will, some things supersede responsibility, are we to punish the sick because society needs a morality lesson?
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I don't know the answers but I have had my share of pain and I can say beyond a shadow of doubt, I'd rather be held hostage by pain relievers than be free to feel and go mad through the pain. Gene
P.S. Damn, the liver clinic just called they want me to come in to the emergency room, somthing about my magnesium levels being too low and the anti-rejection medicine levels being too high.
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