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05/26/2008
Thoughts
Hi my name is Gene and I'm a recovering recoverer,
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Yes I've recovered again, not completely, I still want to sleep 14 hours a day and have no clarity of thought. My muscles are weak, my mind and desk are cluttered.
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politits.blogspot.com/ is still a reliable sidetrack. I read her with great relish. Her life is on display, and reading her can be a disturbingly intimate experience. One thing, she says that during her transplantation to New York City, where she hoped to find a better life, fuck the hubby and kids, she said she was molested. That it wasn't the roach infested appartment or the frightening neighborhood that hastened her departure, but an attack. I'm not sure that she just didn't invent that to give her a greater justification for leaving, that she couldn't admit that her dream was just another lie that she tried to convince herself of. I'm sorry Lisa.
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While I was hospitalized the Korean guy in the bed next to me had, and has, liver cancer. He was closer to death's doorstep than me, much closer. Another guy I talked to had liver disease and surely needs a transplant but they won't operate because of blood clots in his heart. It's as if the suffering population has been confined to these buildings that we call hospitals, in many cases not to get well, their medical conditions preclude that possibility, but rather to just be a part of this huge demographic, the waiting to die soon, populace. Maybe one day we'll learn a more humane way to treat them, to house them, to euthanize them if that be the case.
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In the meantime, I have to travail a crooked course, take this but not too much, take this but not too little. Get blood work to check if it's working, a tweak here a tweak there. Remember a hundred different things from a team of different people. You, the normal people, be grateful, be blessed. Gene
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Comments
Blessed enough knowing you, falling apart though you may be.
Sorry not to have been around much. I am playing major catch-up and just tuned in to all this. My love to you and Nancy and positive vibes that you get past this crap and soon.
S
Posted by: Sue | 05/30/2008
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