PittsburghThoughts

Ebay goes to war

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I've been selling stuff on ebay ... It's neither fun nor rewarding. Some things you have to guess their value, making it a risky endeavour. Don't bother thinking that you can see what comparable items are selling for, of course I do that.

 

The part I enjoy is taking pictures and describing stuff. I'd like to say about some stuff..."Here's some real crap," for instance, figurines of babies or dogs. What am I doing with that junk anyway? Oh. I like the receiving money part too.

 

It's all part of my bigger effort to rid my life of unnecessary baggage.. If' I live long enough to completely shed my outer layer of accumulation, I'll considerate my life a life well lived but I'm going up against a long tradition. My mother loved her junk too. She'd sit in her living room, read romance novels and cover everything with a fine patina of nicotine. If you ever have to detoxify similarly covered candy dishes, wall hangings of anything that won't wilt or dissolve, I highly recommend cleaning them in an ammonia solution, Clorox won't touch it.

 

Some things are useless from the moment they're conciewved. What did George Carlin say? "My shit's stuff while your stuff's shit?" Oh, but I miss the man.

 

Maybe we could hold proxy wars. Round up the nation's useless Home Interior stuff, Avon stuff, and stuff of no particular distinction, and place them in a battle field. We could make it a patriotic gesture, like giving up rubber and silk during the big one. Then, after every nation is in, have a world wide seek and destroy mission. Whoever suffers the least casualties to their junk wins that round. No Bunker Busters or Nukes, in fact we'd have to mime hand to hand combat like kids playing with action figure.

 

When it's over, the winner qualifies for preferred treatment from the IMF and the World bank znd  Knick Knack production begins anew. We cold have corporate sponsors pay for the mock melees and travel expenses. We could sell commemorative regalia. Entire evens could be televised and the enemy can always shout, "New guy" and redeem himself as a hummel.     Gene