09/30/2009

Subliminal positive reinforcement

Like sand through the hour glass so are the days of our lives,
 
I went to see the doctor earlier today. My foot is sore and swollen. The malady seems to emanate from, or, as an accompanying symptom to, the icky, ulcerated spot between my toes that won't heal. I automatically thought diabetes. My blood glucose has been elevated over the last several blood tests, plus, I was sick. My temperature was high and I ached. Thoughts of self immolation seemed reasonable. 
 
The doctor was good enough to see me on short notice and even though I wasn't crazy about going, I think I'm in the mid-hundreds of visits, I went to keep the peace and possibly my toes.
 
Although the doctor is young, he has the aura of a wizened, ancient man of medicine. He is plain speaking and honest to the point that the patients that need sugar coated prognoses, don't care for him. He also listens, and with both ears.
 
I mentioned the recent swelling of my ankles due directly to my liver disease.
 
He answered, " The liver makes ______________ (a big worded protein) that circulates through the bloodstream like the Swiffer  (I made the Swiffer references up) mopping up the excess fluids present in the tissues. Your second rate, discount liver isn't making enough Swiffers and the fluid accumulates."
 
At that point I felt impelled to insert my genital edema joke. It wasn't entirely a joke, I once woke up pre-transplant with a swollen penis. Although I would have preferred the fluid to be equally distributed thereby enhancing my manhood, it listed to the right and looked downright bizarre.
 
We talked liver transplant for a while. I told him I thought that there must be a protocol that keeps doctors from discussing a second transplant because no liver doctor has broached that subject so far. There wasn't any as far as he knew, but he offered me some hope; transplant clinics are sometimes more inclined to do a second transplant on a patient known to follow their instructions rather that wasting a liver on a crap-shoot, bleary eyed, unrepentant alcoholic.
 
Yes Virginia, fuck up your life and not learn from the fucking up, and there is no Santa Claus or liver transplant for you.  
 
During the course of our conversation, maybe with the big picture in mind, he looked dead at me and said, "You won't live to seventy." Ouch!
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You wanna bet? YOU QUACK! I'll show you who's going to live.
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Thanks Doc, I needed that!     Gene
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P.S. According to the two glucose tests given, I'm not diabetic or pre-diabetic. He also ruled out gout. Yea!

09/29/2009

Warring Hummels and other non sequiturs

Ebay goes to war
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I've been selling stuff on ebay ... It's neither fun nor rewarding. Some things you have to guess their value, making it a risky endeavour. Don't bother thinking that you can see what comparable items are selling for, of course I do that.
 
The part I enjoy is taking pictures and describing stuff. I'd like to say about some stuff..."Here's some real crap," for instance, figurines of babies or dogs. What am I doing with that junk anyway? Oh. I like the receiving money part too.
 
It's all part of my bigger effort to rid my life of unnecessary baggage.. If' I live long enough to completely shed my outer layer of accumulation, I'll considerate my life a life well lived but I'm going up against a long tradition. My mother loved her junk too. She'd sit in her living room, read romance novels and cover everything with a fine patina of nicotine. If you ever have to detoxify similarly covered candy dishes, wall hangings of anything that won't wilt or dissolve, I highly recommend cleaning them in an ammonia solution, Clorox won't touch it.
 
Some things are useless from the moment they're conciewved. What did George Carlin say? "My shit's stuff while your stuff's shit?" Oh, but I miss the man.
 
Maybe we could hold proxy wars. Round up the nation's useless Home Interior stuff, Avon stuff, and stuff of no particular distinction, and place them in a battle field. We could make it a patriotic gesture, like giving up rubber and silk during the big one. Then, after every nation is in, have a world wide seek and destroy mission. Whoever suffers the least casualties to their junk wins that round. No Bunker Busters or Nukes, in fact we'd have to mime hand to hand combat like kids playing with action figure.
 
When it's over, the winner qualifies for preferred treatment from the IMF and the World bank znd  Knick Knack production begins anew. We cold have corporate sponsors pay for the mock melees and travel expenses. We could sell commemorative regalia. Entire evens could be televised and the enemy can always shout, "New guy" and redeem himself as a hummel.     Gene
Hummel.jpg

09/26/2009

Cats

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If I was a cat everything would be cool, I'd have no worries, no "situations" no money problems, nothing.
 
Oh, I'd still be vulnerable to disease and other negativities and seeing a large, looming, kick-ass stray cat would probably scare the shit out of me but these are things that I've endured, in one way or another, as a human as well.
 
The difference is cats never worry themselves sick, oh wait, there are neurotic house cats and if there can be neurotic house cats why shouldn't there be neurotic feral cats too? Imagine a young Woody Allen cat, or a supremely insecure Richard Lewis cat, who, by the way, had a short lived TV sit-com starring Jamie lLee Curtis. The series was ruined, the whole premise destroyed once they had sex. The show was built around the sexual tension existing between the two characters and... but I digress.
 
Oh the other hand, in the wild could a Woody Allen cat even evolve? There are bound to be aberrations in every species but maybe the duality of a cat neurosis has a survival benefit; who would ever take in an unrepentant killer cat, love and feed it?
 
It's quite reasonable to assume that the world is filled with Woody Allen cats, cats seeking redemption, for their murderous ways while suffering the guilt of being who they are. Think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, where the mild mannered Dr. Jekyll eventually gives way to Mr Hyde's insidious, criminal tendencies. Cats fighting their inner demons without so much as a comfortable philosophy to assuage them.
 
I don't want to be a cat after all. It wouldn't be cool, I'd have too many worries, and situational problems. As for the money ... Woody Allen and Richard Lewis cats have both done well for themselves and the venerable Mr, Hyde stills kills for the sheer pleasure.   Gene

09/24/2009

Choir of small insects

Two black men and a bug man, 

It seems that everyone has something to say. People with no more oratory skill, or knowledge than Sarah Palin are given a world stage to pontificate on things far beyond their ken. Worst still, credentials have been replaced by notoriety: *Tom Delay, **Ken Blackwell and ***Alan Keyes come to mind but the choices are endless and the nation's premier nut house (Washington) is rife with choices.

Like a cricket's stridulation we are incessantly beaming our noises into the ether, but, while Crickets have their "ears" located on the knees of their front legs, we have our heads up our asses., probably accounting for the shitty discourse that passes for normal today. And let us not forget that the most beautiful array of Peacock feathers emanate from his anus.

All this is to say that our sometimes beautiful, floral speeches are as much meant to attract as our outraged screeds are to repel. Although we wish words alone could do the trick, it isn't that easy, words, in no way, necessarily define our thoughts or positions.

What does define our ethos, logos and pathos then? Just like momma used to say, "Our actions speak louder than our words." It's our actions that matter, call it what you will, but our refusal to be civil and moral, check that, a refusal to do what's required of us to be upright human beings, we fail to florish, and while branding it as good policy, it is as selfish and thoughtless as it is expedient and in most situations, ruthlessly discharged.

Man's default position is to be always be stuck in a decreasingly spacious box. Some start off in large boxes and some in small ones. To push back has limited value. Like Obama and his people we can hope to not lose more ground, or, like Alexander the Great we can cut the Gordian knot that ties us to our potential fate and in one decisive, bold stroke free ourselves from the bonds that hold us powerless . . Gene

*In 2005, a Texas grand jury indicted DeLay on criminal charges that he had conspired to violate campaign finance laws during that period. DeLay denied the charges and pled not guilty, saying they were politically motivated and the law he was indicted under did not apply until later,

**Ohio voters sued Blackwell on August 31, 2006 in a case called King Lincoln Bronzeville Neighborhood Association v. Blackwell in which individual voters and three voters' rights groups alleged that, in his capacity as Secretary of State, Blackwell "allocated [2004] election resources in a racially discriminatory manner and instituted racially discriminatory procedures for provisional voting, purging voters from the statewide voter registration database, and maintaining the chain of custody of ballots. The complaint alleged that these actions led to the dilution and/or cancellation of plaintiffs' vote due to ballot cancellation and tampering, long poll lines, mechanical difficulties with voting machines, and unclear precinct boundaries." The complaint claims that plaintiffs reasonably feared these problems would recur in the November, 2006, election, and asked the court to appoint a special master to perform Blackwell's election administration duties in that election.

This is the same Ken Blackwell that wrote, criticizing ACORN:

As negotiations over Congress’s emergency rescue bill continued over the weekend, repeated rumors leaked out that the Democrats were trying to funnel money to a hyper-partisan organization involved in criminal voter fraud. I’m speaking of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now — known by its acronym, ACORN. Although ACORN was cut from the final legislation, it’s important to understand this organization and its long history with, of all people, Barack Obama. And it’s important to see how partisan this emergency legislation has become.

***Goofy black bastard:

 

09/22/2009

My email to Fred Honsberger

Fred,   Usually I shake off your hate speech and incitements like a dog shaking off fleas, therefore, I don't write or call. That, coupled with the fact that you personally nauseate me with your myopic views and daily status quo diatribes. Why would you want anything to change? You got yours Fred and, to you, that's all that matters.
 
I took this exception, although you contradicting yourself is the rule rather than the exception, to ask you  why violence is just ducky when it suits your agenda but not when it suits others that don't hold your "capitalism at all cost" views.
 
You  battered your guest, the G-20 summit protestor, because he wouldn't denounce violence. I have to ask, what violence have you ever denounced? I can't think of any. You love waterboarding, you think decimating and dislocating hundreds of thousands of civilians in Iraq was just dandy.You brushed it off as a necessary casualty of war. Iraq was a war of choice Fred and no matter how many times you say it helped keep us safe, you know that's not true. There's big money in fear Fred, ask your Pimps.
 
I presume you want us in Afghanistan, Iran and possibly Pakistan. If a General somewhere says it's part of our war on terrorism that's good enough for you, you stand at attention and salute Irregardless that you ran and hid under the bed when it came time for you to serve.
 
So, tell me comrade, what violence have you denounced?  I'm all ears.    Gene

I get all bleary eyed

Death by one thousand cuts,

I'm waiting to hear back from Blogspirit, the host of this blog. I ask them a simple question about how to retrieve my deleted files. They sent me a minimalist reply that contained zero usable information. I think it was seven words long. The last time I checked ( I never really checked)  seven words isn't enough wordage to explain how to open a bottle of Ketchup let alone retrieve blog archives.

I sent them a the same question a second time. They told me they had already answered my question, subtext: Are you stupid or what? I wrote them again, the usual disgruntled consumer complaint garboo, only this time I was a bit more aggressive, either answer my question so that I may retrieve my lost blog entries or refund my money. I haven't heard back yet.

So, I'm running on borrowed time using a service that I don't particularly like but having nothing else to replace it with, for now. Did I mention that the blog host, Blogspirit is a French concern? While I admire the French and their unique national characteristics, what other country could make a French movie as well? In the family of nations, they are the intellectual geezers, woman pleasers, and world renown cheesers. But will they refund my dough?

They, the napoleonic blog police, may use this blog as proof that even thought I asked for my money back I continued to use their product, so therefore your honor, "How dissatisfied could he really be?" "Your honor, may I speak in my defense?" Go powder your wigs you flaming French fags. (If I offended: wigs, flames or fags I apologize.)

Maybe I'll get my refund, big deal, 87 dollars, 57 Euros, but my blogs, my beloved blogs who gets them? Are they meant to wander forever like orphaned thoughts in the purgatory of cyberspace? Someday my children, my MP3 files, my youtube videos and my irreverent, desultory ramblings ...we will meet again ... farewell for now and may flights of Angels sing you to your rest.    Gene

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