PittsburghThoughts

Time to use this ridiculously small keyboard again. It's not me either, my daughter who actually can type, also thinks it's ridiculously small. But, it's wireless and so we're all supposed to drop to our knees and worship the ground it writes on.

I gave the old one away along with the accompanying computer, the old dell was full of tricks but this one is an apple and oooooh an apple. There are things I can't master with this machine, ohhhhhh, the pain.

As you can deduce, if you follow my blog at all, that I'm feeling better. A week at death's door, two days in the hospital, having every Dr. this side of the western hemisphere ask me the same questions twice, some IV fluids and near starvation, was all it took. Now to try to get back in shape.

No, not the shape I was in when I was in my best of shape, that's out. I just want to be strong enough to handle the operation and recovery.  Wouldn't you give it your all if your life was on the line? well mine is.

I walked almost 3 miles today, ran some errands, came home and craved coffee. This is unusual stuff for me, for well over a couple of months the thought of coffee repulsed me. I drank a cup and a half of Columbian. I felt good. Nancy made some cheese ravioli in butter and garlic. She passed out after dinner and haven't heard her make a squeak. I did the dishes for the second time today, did the laundry folded the laundry and I'm wide awake.

This morning I spotted the blankets I've used over the past week and I must say, they frightened me. I felt as if I wrapped myself in either of them, I'd be inviting the nightmares and sickness back. I know it's irrational but that didn't keep me from avoiding them. I remember once, waking up as a child, after a particularly hellish nightmare, and asking my mother if dreams can hurt you. I don't think she was prepared for the question, I don't remember getting an answer, and now my kids are grown, but I'd answer yes ... Well that may scare them too much, so change that to "The Easter Bunny told me, no".

Today and yesterday I was unflappable. I caught a glimpse of what life is. The trees, the skys, things just the way they are ...